Hi, you must do 30 squats in your underwear

I had the bright idea to fill my weekend of socialization solely with a dog by running in the 10k in Annecy this weekend.

I logged into the online signup, but noticed a small note at the bottom- I need a medical certificate to run. To me, this is surprising, but seems easy enough to rectify. Ask the nurse, the greatest nurse that ever existed, to write me a little note, and off I'll go to running my 6.2 miles. I sent her an email, and by the time the dust settled, I'd found out it wasn't as easy as I'd thought. I needed to sign up for the company running club. The subsidized cost would be 2 euros, and that would defray the 12 euro sign up fee for that race, and any races in the future. I thought this was the most amazing thing I'd ever heard, by the way.

However, the director of the running club (the head R&D guy) wasn't sure if I could sign up because I'm not French. 2 phone calls to the legal department, and I still don't know what was clarified. Either way, I got my hour long appointment with the doctor for the following week.

I did not seriously think a physical would take 1 hour. I've had a physical every year since I was about 13, and not one ever lasted more than 10 minutes. It's always been the standard, "How ya feeling, let's listen to your heart, any pains I should know about" and out the door I would go. Oh, how mistaken I was and unprepared for this.

Immediately upon entering the room, I was instructed to remove my clothes and leave just my underwear on. I was weighed/measured and by the way- love the weight in kg. I feel like half the girl I used to be. Following this, I was instructed to give my full and complete medical history. All family was accounted for. This lasted about 15 minutes as I shifted nervously in my underwear. I was asked for my vaccination record- do they even do that in the US?? I don't ever remember seeing an actual record. I would just always sort of guesstimate the important ones that were legally required.

The Best Part. I had to do 30 (counted out loud) squats in front of the doctor. In my underwear. I was trying so hard not to laugh as my knees cracked and I lost my breath. I think the ultimate irony would have been failing that portion. After the 30, my heart was listened to for 2 minutes. I had to do 20 toe touches. My heart was once again listened to for 2 minutes. I got a break, and then my resting heart rate taken. I got a lecture on diet. I was told not to run in the sun because of the heat dangers. I clarified that I'm not a soda drinker. Basically, every conceivable element of my health was discussed (headaches? stomach aches?)

It's a great thing they do this, and the doctor was surprised that in the US you don't need a health certificate for any race. I think ultimately it's a really good idea, however, I can't imagine the local 5k runners getting one of these every year. Or my mom doing half naked squats in front of the doctor. It's probably one of those things that becomes invaluable when you discover someone with an irregular heart and save their life, but I figured I've escaped death enough on all my past runs/triathlons/tennis etc.

Just every time I think about doing semi naked squats in front of the doctor, I burst out laughing. That's the only thing I'll remember about this experience.