I had the bright idea to fill my weekend of socialization solely with a dog by running in the 10k in Annecy this weekend.
I logged into the online signup, but noticed a small note at the bottom- I need a medical certificate to run. To me, this is surprising, but seems easy enough to rectify. Ask the nurse, the greatest nurse that ever existed, to write me a little note, and off I'll go to running my 6.2 miles. I sent her an email, and by the time the dust settled, I'd found out it wasn't as easy as I'd thought. I needed to sign up for the company running club. The subsidized cost would be 2 euros, and that would defray the 12 euro sign up fee for that race, and any races in the future. I thought this was the most amazing thing I'd ever heard, by the way.
However, the director of the running club (the head R&D guy) wasn't sure if I could sign up because I'm not French. 2 phone calls to the legal department, and I still don't know what was clarified. Either way, I got my hour long appointment with the doctor for the following week.
I did not seriously think a physical would take 1 hour. I've had a physical every year since I was about 13, and not one ever lasted more than 10 minutes. It's always been the standard, "How ya feeling, let's listen to your heart, any pains I should know about" and out the door I would go. Oh, how mistaken I was and unprepared for this.
Immediately upon entering the room, I was instructed to remove my clothes and leave just my underwear on. I was weighed/measured and by the way- love the weight in kg. I feel like half the girl I used to be. Following this, I was instructed to give my full and complete medical history. All family was accounted for. This lasted about 15 minutes as I shifted nervously in my underwear. I was asked for my vaccination record- do they even do that in the US?? I don't ever remember seeing an actual record. I would just always sort of guesstimate the important ones that were legally required.
The Best Part. I had to do 30 (counted out loud) squats in front of the doctor. In my underwear. I was trying so hard not to laugh as my knees cracked and I lost my breath. I think the ultimate irony would have been failing that portion. After the 30, my heart was listened to for 2 minutes. I had to do 20 toe touches. My heart was once again listened to for 2 minutes. I got a break, and then my resting heart rate taken. I got a lecture on diet. I was told not to run in the sun because of the heat dangers. I clarified that I'm not a soda drinker. Basically, every conceivable element of my health was discussed (headaches? stomach aches?)
It's a great thing they do this, and the doctor was surprised that in the US you don't need a health certificate for any race. I think ultimately it's a really good idea, however, I can't imagine the local 5k runners getting one of these every year. Or my mom doing half naked squats in front of the doctor. It's probably one of those things that becomes invaluable when you discover someone with an irregular heart and save their life, but I figured I've escaped death enough on all my past runs/triathlons/tennis etc.
Just every time I think about doing semi naked squats in front of the doctor, I burst out laughing. That's the only thing I'll remember about this experience.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Americans want us to stop yelling at each other
Since I consider politics to be one of my favorite things, I'm "coming out." Every blog I've read has had many, many references to November 4th. Even Perez Hilton has taken his stance. It doesn't seem I can go many places in France without being asked about the election, it doesn't seem as if I can read any news site without seeing the media's take on everything.
I will preface this statement by saying that not once have I ever called someone “stupid” or thought less of them because of their political beliefs. I have never and will never support any group who releases videos like the “Why do I vote Republican (or Democratic)?” satire. To me, it's a disgusting and desperate attempt at belittling false generalizations about a political party.
I understand that people are different and there will never be a time when everyone agrees politically. There is a difference between large and small government in our country and the ways we instate laws will reflect this as long as democracy is being served. However, it’s become increasingly clear that both sides of the arena are transferring swipes with deeply personal attacks. Such as the video mentioned above… really, I didn’t know all Republicans hate minorities, gays, wage war, and play with guns...because I’ve never done any of the above! I know many people who support stem cell research, abortion rights, equal marriage rights regardless of orientation, tighter gun control…. Who also vote Republican. The differences may lie simply in the level of involvement they want the government to have in their life. Or how they think a massive tax increase on the middle class and small business would effect an already hurting economy. I wish I could have the social liberalism coupled with the support of small business, low taxes, and personal responsibility molded into one party. I could get behind that.
Yes, has government spending gotten completely and totally out of control over the past 8 years? Has the level of corruption and partisan BS become crystal clear? Absolutely, without a doubt, and that is being reflected today. However, it’s important to remember that globally, many leading economies are down- take a look at Great Britain, European nations. To say that Americans are the only ones with a struggling economy as proof that Bush's tactics solely and completely failed is unfair. A little digging into economic journals will show this. We have a global market. Energy prices are through the roof because demand has increased. It's not the direct result of 1 country's policies. Dig around a few economic reports and journals to get the full scope of the global economy and how Americans aren't the only ones with housing woes and skyrocketing energy/food prices.
With that said, I’ve never gone ahead and given anyone my unsolicited opinions on politics. I wouldn’t even be posting this, if it weren’t for a really disturbing transgression that happened…it basically can be summarized as a family member who sent an email declaring his opinion that "Any American and/ or feminist with at least 2 brain cells" would see the transparency of selecting Sarah Palin as VP. It continued to compare the "middle class" who vote "red" to beaten dogs who "keep coming back for more."
Ok, I'm sorry, but I don’t think most people like to be compared to beaten dogs. I don’t think many people (especially a female in a male field) would appreciate being called anti-feminist or un-American for having a dissenting view from a family member. It doesn’t even matter what you believe politically, there is no place on either the right or the left for things like this.
I just don't think you can judge people for their political opinions. It's not always as black and white as the idiotic "Why I vote Republican" video. There are a lot of Americans stuck in the middle and have to choose. To me, we will never become a socialist country. We have Constitutional rights against many of the fundamental elements of socialism- we have a "right to bear arms." (Although I still fail to understand how we can't do a better job at enforcing legal gun ownership...) While I love France and can appreciate what they do for their citizens, it's from a far. I'm not entitled to their benefits. I love my country and I want to believe that I can easily start my own business and not be taxed to death. I'll save my opinions on health care for another day. Trust me- I too think that universal sounds great, but what do we do about the 15/40 million uninsured in the country that are there illegally? I think there is a middle ground between private insurance, which is a miserable failure, and universal coverage (which is a misnomer because under Obama's plan it would only cover those under the poverty line).
Ok- I'm done. I'm not trying to change anyones mind. I don't care who you vote for, it's a free country and we are all entitled to our opinions and beliefs about where we want the country to go. Just don't go judging me, because I'm not judging you.
"Americans want us to stop yelling at each other"
PS- I think Hilary/Palin would have been my ideal ticket. Things would be getting DONE in DC.
Anyway, here are some pictures
Stalagmites, Font d'Urle, Les Deux Alpes
I will preface this statement by saying that not once have I ever called someone “stupid” or thought less of them because of their political beliefs. I have never and will never support any group who releases videos like the “Why do I vote Republican (or Democratic)?” satire. To me, it's a disgusting and desperate attempt at belittling false generalizations about a political party.
I understand that people are different and there will never be a time when everyone agrees politically. There is a difference between large and small government in our country and the ways we instate laws will reflect this as long as democracy is being served. However, it’s become increasingly clear that both sides of the arena are transferring swipes with deeply personal attacks. Such as the video mentioned above… really, I didn’t know all Republicans hate minorities, gays, wage war, and play with guns...because I’ve never done any of the above! I know many people who support stem cell research, abortion rights, equal marriage rights regardless of orientation, tighter gun control…. Who also vote Republican. The differences may lie simply in the level of involvement they want the government to have in their life. Or how they think a massive tax increase on the middle class and small business would effect an already hurting economy. I wish I could have the social liberalism coupled with the support of small business, low taxes, and personal responsibility molded into one party. I could get behind that.
Yes, has government spending gotten completely and totally out of control over the past 8 years? Has the level of corruption and partisan BS become crystal clear? Absolutely, without a doubt, and that is being reflected today. However, it’s important to remember that globally, many leading economies are down- take a look at Great Britain, European nations. To say that Americans are the only ones with a struggling economy as proof that Bush's tactics solely and completely failed is unfair. A little digging into economic journals will show this. We have a global market. Energy prices are through the roof because demand has increased. It's not the direct result of 1 country's policies. Dig around a few economic reports and journals to get the full scope of the global economy and how Americans aren't the only ones with housing woes and skyrocketing energy/food prices.
With that said, I’ve never gone ahead and given anyone my unsolicited opinions on politics. I wouldn’t even be posting this, if it weren’t for a really disturbing transgression that happened…it basically can be summarized as a family member who sent an email declaring his opinion that "Any American and/ or feminist with at least 2 brain cells" would see the transparency of selecting Sarah Palin as VP. It continued to compare the "middle class" who vote "red" to beaten dogs who "keep coming back for more."
Ok, I'm sorry, but I don’t think most people like to be compared to beaten dogs. I don’t think many people (especially a female in a male field) would appreciate being called anti-feminist or un-American for having a dissenting view from a family member. It doesn’t even matter what you believe politically, there is no place on either the right or the left for things like this.
I just don't think you can judge people for their political opinions. It's not always as black and white as the idiotic "Why I vote Republican" video. There are a lot of Americans stuck in the middle and have to choose. To me, we will never become a socialist country. We have Constitutional rights against many of the fundamental elements of socialism- we have a "right to bear arms." (Although I still fail to understand how we can't do a better job at enforcing legal gun ownership...) While I love France and can appreciate what they do for their citizens, it's from a far. I'm not entitled to their benefits. I love my country and I want to believe that I can easily start my own business and not be taxed to death. I'll save my opinions on health care for another day. Trust me- I too think that universal sounds great, but what do we do about the 15/40 million uninsured in the country that are there illegally? I think there is a middle ground between private insurance, which is a miserable failure, and universal coverage (which is a misnomer because under Obama's plan it would only cover those under the poverty line).
Ok- I'm done. I'm not trying to change anyones mind. I don't care who you vote for, it's a free country and we are all entitled to our opinions and beliefs about where we want the country to go. Just don't go judging me, because I'm not judging you.
"Americans want us to stop yelling at each other"
PS- I think Hilary/Palin would have been my ideal ticket. Things would be getting DONE in DC.
Anyway, here are some pictures
Stalagmites, Font d'Urle, Les Deux Alpes
Monday, August 18, 2008
Ever forget words in English when your head becomes a mess of French/English/Puppy language?
I keep telling myself to write down all the crazy stuff that's been happening here so when I'm an old lady I won't forget... I feel like I've been here much longer than the 2 months or so and FINALLY my french is improving leaps and bounds. I can understand almost everything people are saying, but still have this mortal fear of talking. It's getting better, slowly.
Backing it up a bit. First, a few weeks ago, I got sicker than I've been in a really long time. The first day that I woke up and realized how bad it was, I was worried. Especially worried, because my phone and internet went down during a storm the night before and I still don't have a cell phone. I made it into work since people would think I was dead if I disappeared. There's a nurse at work, like I had in elementary school. Anyways, I made it to about 10 AM and realized that it was very likely I was dying. I trudged into her office where she was giving a bare chested man a heart scan thing. Just out in the open, very French style (which I know for fact based on my recent chest xray for my work visa- just strip off the shirt and bra...) I sat down and waited, and when I told the nurse that I couldn't move, felt like a bus had run over my face, was about to throw up, and oh yeah, my fever feels like it's peaked 105 or so. She goes through a littany of tests (which include 3 different stomach relievers/applesauce/6 sucre en morceaux). The best part. She made me tea and offered a mint flavored liquor accompaniment. Basically, we spent an hour chit chatting (her) and approaching death (me). Ultimately, her diagnosis was that my failure to eat breakfast (too much yacking) made my blood sugar drop to dangerous levels causing my symptoms.
I made it home that day and didn't leave bed for 3 days. True story. I survived off of frosted flakes and a combination of sleeping pills and antibiotics. Turns out it was strep throat. Which was a little exacerbated by the whole being alone in France, no food, modern medicine thing that occurred.
C'est la vie. I lived. Other fun stuff that's happened. Fete du lac. Something like that. My memories from that entire night are a large blur. I know I was on a boat. I know that I was at a bbq with many, many bottles of wine and an unfortunate memory of several shots of absinthe or something. I remember getting into some political debates. About it. I think the fireworks were beautiful though. There was also an unfortunate incident that night that involved a patch of nettles, my hands, a camera, and my bare ass.
I went to a "tubberware" party. There was a 4 year old in attendance because the universal name of "tubberware party" was lost on the mom. It will be great inspiration for her to remember next year when she writes her letter to Santa. In her dreams, her gifts will all be pink, phalic shaped, rotating, and totally awesome.
I went to Font D'Urle and saw a wild boar. This alone gave me night terrors.
Work work work. There's a lot of that.
I got a puppy. He is a Yorkie named Don Juan. He is a terror and 9 weeks old. I love him most of the time except when he wakes up barking at 4 am. And when he humps any leg he can get around, which is totally giving credence to his name.
I'm a regular Martha Stuart now. I cook all the time.
France is still awesome. I like it a lot and don't want to leave. Even though I'll have to eventually, especially because I cracked a filling, need a root canal and miss my dentist from home. Anyone know any good cosmetic dentists in this part of the globe?
Backing it up a bit. First, a few weeks ago, I got sicker than I've been in a really long time. The first day that I woke up and realized how bad it was, I was worried. Especially worried, because my phone and internet went down during a storm the night before and I still don't have a cell phone. I made it into work since people would think I was dead if I disappeared. There's a nurse at work, like I had in elementary school. Anyways, I made it to about 10 AM and realized that it was very likely I was dying. I trudged into her office where she was giving a bare chested man a heart scan thing. Just out in the open, very French style (which I know for fact based on my recent chest xray for my work visa- just strip off the shirt and bra...) I sat down and waited, and when I told the nurse that I couldn't move, felt like a bus had run over my face, was about to throw up, and oh yeah, my fever feels like it's peaked 105 or so. She goes through a littany of tests (which include 3 different stomach relievers/applesauce/6 sucre en morceaux). The best part. She made me tea and offered a mint flavored liquor accompaniment. Basically, we spent an hour chit chatting (her) and approaching death (me). Ultimately, her diagnosis was that my failure to eat breakfast (too much yacking) made my blood sugar drop to dangerous levels causing my symptoms.
I made it home that day and didn't leave bed for 3 days. True story. I survived off of frosted flakes and a combination of sleeping pills and antibiotics. Turns out it was strep throat. Which was a little exacerbated by the whole being alone in France, no food, modern medicine thing that occurred.
C'est la vie. I lived. Other fun stuff that's happened. Fete du lac. Something like that. My memories from that entire night are a large blur. I know I was on a boat. I know that I was at a bbq with many, many bottles of wine and an unfortunate memory of several shots of absinthe or something. I remember getting into some political debates. About it. I think the fireworks were beautiful though. There was also an unfortunate incident that night that involved a patch of nettles, my hands, a camera, and my bare ass.
I went to a "tubberware" party. There was a 4 year old in attendance because the universal name of "tubberware party" was lost on the mom. It will be great inspiration for her to remember next year when she writes her letter to Santa. In her dreams, her gifts will all be pink, phalic shaped, rotating, and totally awesome.
I went to Font D'Urle and saw a wild boar. This alone gave me night terrors.
Work work work. There's a lot of that.
I got a puppy. He is a Yorkie named Don Juan. He is a terror and 9 weeks old. I love him most of the time except when he wakes up barking at 4 am. And when he humps any leg he can get around, which is totally giving credence to his name.
I'm a regular Martha Stuart now. I cook all the time.
France is still awesome. I like it a lot and don't want to leave. Even though I'll have to eventually, especially because I cracked a filling, need a root canal and miss my dentist from home. Anyone know any good cosmetic dentists in this part of the globe?
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Safe and sound
Made it to the new digs in Talloires. I love this place, even though I've spent most of the time sleeping. It was a long flight and an even longer week leading up to this move. I graduated, packed and shipped my things and cleaned out my old apartment. I unfortunately got stuck in the dead center seat on the plane, and spent the entire flight playing elbow jockey with a guy from Panama until he fell asleep with his arm about 6 inches into my personal space. I've never been so happy to get off a plane...
Me after not sleeping a full 48 hours praying for internet.
Yesterday, we spent the day at the Orange store setting up an internet/phone/tv program and miraculously, even though they said it would take 15 days to start working, the internet and tv works! Once the phone service kicks in, I'll get free international calls. All of this for less than half of what I was paying in the US, and that was a student rate. I don't miss Comcast and never will.
After that was the first trip to Carrefour (like Target or Walmart). Going at 7 in the evening was not smart at all. I've never seen a mob quite like it. It really is exhausting trying to figure groceries out when it's not a native language and there are swarms of people everywhere. It ended up working, and we took the new car home. Ford Fiesta. Figures we got the American car, haha. Feels like home.
There's an awesome hike right outside the apartment we took this afternoon. Here's a quick video I took tonight during dinner. I'm never leaving this terrace ever.
Me after not sleeping a full 48 hours praying for internet.
Yesterday, we spent the day at the Orange store setting up an internet/phone/tv program and miraculously, even though they said it would take 15 days to start working, the internet and tv works! Once the phone service kicks in, I'll get free international calls. All of this for less than half of what I was paying in the US, and that was a student rate. I don't miss Comcast and never will.
After that was the first trip to Carrefour (like Target or Walmart). Going at 7 in the evening was not smart at all. I've never seen a mob quite like it. It really is exhausting trying to figure groceries out when it's not a native language and there are swarms of people everywhere. It ended up working, and we took the new car home. Ford Fiesta. Figures we got the American car, haha. Feels like home.
There's an awesome hike right outside the apartment we took this afternoon. Here's a quick video I took tonight during dinner. I'm never leaving this terrace ever.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
FINALLY
I take back any negativity about the visa process. The DC embassy restored my faith. It was actually really easy once the paperwork was in the same state as me.
I am officially moving June 21st. Still trying to condense all of my worldly belongings to 5 or 6 small boxes, along with my fun stuff (snowboard/bike) so they can be shipped tomorrow. It's pretty difficult considering that I have no idea how long I'm going to be living over there and never having had any real size constraints in houses or apartments I've lived in. Ah well.
My French is still so very bad. First thing up when I move is finding language lessons. All my French teacher told me is that I sound like I have a Spanish accent and that I'm scared to talk. All very true.
One of the two covert pictures at the DC embassy (for fear of being thrown out and stripped of my passport):
I am officially moving June 21st. Still trying to condense all of my worldly belongings to 5 or 6 small boxes, along with my fun stuff (snowboard/bike) so they can be shipped tomorrow. It's pretty difficult considering that I have no idea how long I'm going to be living over there and never having had any real size constraints in houses or apartments I've lived in. Ah well.
My French is still so very bad. First thing up when I move is finding language lessons. All my French teacher told me is that I sound like I have a Spanish accent and that I'm scared to talk. All very true.
One of the two covert pictures at the DC embassy (for fear of being thrown out and stripped of my passport):
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
French Visa: Round 2 (The Prequel)
This coming Friday... the 2nd major travel event of the ANAEM visa process... DC here I come.
In other news, the NY consulate was a little off in their declaration that they "forwarded our files to DC in April." In some round-about way, it was discovered that by "forwarding" the files, they meant "throwing them in the trashcan." The whole application process had to start over, so now we're going to DC even though the new letter from ANAEM in France might not even be there (yet).
I then graduate on Saturday, the 14th. Go me.
6 days later is the big move...
*and if DC screws me then who knows when I'll be going. The beginning of July if I'm lucky...
In other news, the NY consulate was a little off in their declaration that they "forwarded our files to DC in April." In some round-about way, it was discovered that by "forwarding" the files, they meant "throwing them in the trashcan." The whole application process had to start over, so now we're going to DC even though the new letter from ANAEM in France might not even be there (yet).
I then graduate on Saturday, the 14th. Go me.
6 days later is the big move...
*and if DC screws me then who knows when I'll be going. The beginning of July if I'm lucky...
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
How to not get your French visa
Now that I'm feeling ten thousand times better than this past horrible weekend (see below), I've decided to enlighten anyone to the joy and wonder that is...French bureaucracy. Or bureaucrazy, as I've found.
In my case, the HR department at work applied for my ANAEM sponsored visa. This was because I was denied a long term stay visa. To work in France and get this type of visa, the company must prove that a non-French or non-European can't do the job in question. Obviously, this is a major sticking point and a major reason it's so difficult to get a job in France. It would have been nice to go this route since I'm being dumped by dad's health insurance in a few months, and the French have the most amazing healthcare and benefits. Anyways, since I got denied my "resident" visa, I had to go another route. ANAEM- roughly means that the company is sending me on "assignment" and I'm going to be paid out of the US to keep me a US citizen that is working "temporarily" over there.
Here come the important steps. First, after the above mess is sorted out, the company applies and gets approved by the French job agency to let me come on over. They send a letter to HR, which is forwarded onto me. This letter states that MY VISA APPROVAL IS IN NEW YORK CITY.
Comes the great contradiction. On the French NYC embassy website, it clearly states that ONLY NJ/NY residents can be issued visas from this consulate. However, since the company is based out of NJ, I am assured by HR that this is fine and to make my online appointment to go into NYC. So, try calling the embassy. There are "no live help" employees to answer calls (ever), and if I have a question, I am to submit an online query form. I do this, and 1.5 months later, have yet to receive a response.
Trudge ahead, and make online appointment on convoluted and confusing consulate website. Appointments are made several weeks out, so much planning has to go into this since of course, the consulate is on the Upper East Side, the most accessible place on earth.
Make your way into the city, and wait outside the French consulate (which is very nice, guarded by an ominous security guard who takes no shit). Wait until your 11 AM appointment, with about 30 other people, and get smashed like sardines into a crowded vestibule. Get yelled at if you step off the step leading to the metal detector.
Be very excited, because you think that YOU HAVE MADE IT. YOU ARE GETTING YOUR VISA TODAY! You have brought 30 copies of 46 different documents, from bank statements to lease agreements. They will not get you on a technicality! I know where I'm living, how I'm making my dough, who I'm sharing with, the technicalities of my job, everything.
Go through security several times, finding all lost scraps of metal placed on and about your body. Begin to get nervous when you see the stairwell directly at your 12 oclock. Become very nervous when you see 1 person standing on each step with timecards reading "10AM appointment."
Make your way to the end of the very long line and awkwardly talk to people around you that are above or below a step. This goes on for about 2 hours before you MAKE IT TO THE TOP! The precipice, the place of my dreams! An uncharacteristically friendly bureaucrat asks to see my passport and visa picture. I hand all over, along with my letter from France telling me to go to NYC. He takes one look at my passport and declares that I am at the wrong embassy! No, I cry! My letter! I HAVE A LETTER!
He declares my letter a mistake. PA residents must go to Washington, DC consulate for their visas. But, wait, I cry, what about my applications from France? He assures me that everything has been forwarded to DC. Well, I plead, can I please have a copy of your letter that assures me I can go to DC and all will be well? No, this is his copy only, he can not guarantee me anything.
Leave empty handed after a day well spent. Almost start crying and am comforted by a Russian girl, which was the nicest thing a stranger has ever done. So, the process will start all over since DC claims to never have received files from NY or France. This was not an easily discovered piece of information, since the French don't answer anything on the phone...they may reply to a fax, which in this case they did, with no recourse or solution to the problem. It's like the age of technology has been lost on their organizational system.
Hopefully this can all get done before June 18th since I also need a physical in France before I start working on June 30th. I know this is very common for France and paperwork, but I am an eternal optimist and had such high hopes. le sigh.
In my case, the HR department at work applied for my ANAEM sponsored visa. This was because I was denied a long term stay visa. To work in France and get this type of visa, the company must prove that a non-French or non-European can't do the job in question. Obviously, this is a major sticking point and a major reason it's so difficult to get a job in France. It would have been nice to go this route since I'm being dumped by dad's health insurance in a few months, and the French have the most amazing healthcare and benefits. Anyways, since I got denied my "resident" visa, I had to go another route. ANAEM- roughly means that the company is sending me on "assignment" and I'm going to be paid out of the US to keep me a US citizen that is working "temporarily" over there.
Here come the important steps. First, after the above mess is sorted out, the company applies and gets approved by the French job agency to let me come on over. They send a letter to HR, which is forwarded onto me. This letter states that MY VISA APPROVAL IS IN NEW YORK CITY.
Comes the great contradiction. On the French NYC embassy website, it clearly states that ONLY NJ/NY residents can be issued visas from this consulate. However, since the company is based out of NJ, I am assured by HR that this is fine and to make my online appointment to go into NYC. So, try calling the embassy. There are "no live help" employees to answer calls (ever), and if I have a question, I am to submit an online query form. I do this, and 1.5 months later, have yet to receive a response.
Trudge ahead, and make online appointment on convoluted and confusing consulate website. Appointments are made several weeks out, so much planning has to go into this since of course, the consulate is on the Upper East Side, the most accessible place on earth.
Make your way into the city, and wait outside the French consulate (which is very nice, guarded by an ominous security guard who takes no shit). Wait until your 11 AM appointment, with about 30 other people, and get smashed like sardines into a crowded vestibule. Get yelled at if you step off the step leading to the metal detector.
Be very excited, because you think that YOU HAVE MADE IT. YOU ARE GETTING YOUR VISA TODAY! You have brought 30 copies of 46 different documents, from bank statements to lease agreements. They will not get you on a technicality! I know where I'm living, how I'm making my dough, who I'm sharing with, the technicalities of my job, everything.
Go through security several times, finding all lost scraps of metal placed on and about your body. Begin to get nervous when you see the stairwell directly at your 12 oclock. Become very nervous when you see 1 person standing on each step with timecards reading "10AM appointment."
Make your way to the end of the very long line and awkwardly talk to people around you that are above or below a step. This goes on for about 2 hours before you MAKE IT TO THE TOP! The precipice, the place of my dreams! An uncharacteristically friendly bureaucrat asks to see my passport and visa picture. I hand all over, along with my letter from France telling me to go to NYC. He takes one look at my passport and declares that I am at the wrong embassy! No, I cry! My letter! I HAVE A LETTER!
He declares my letter a mistake. PA residents must go to Washington, DC consulate for their visas. But, wait, I cry, what about my applications from France? He assures me that everything has been forwarded to DC. Well, I plead, can I please have a copy of your letter that assures me I can go to DC and all will be well? No, this is his copy only, he can not guarantee me anything.
Leave empty handed after a day well spent. Almost start crying and am comforted by a Russian girl, which was the nicest thing a stranger has ever done. So, the process will start all over since DC claims to never have received files from NY or France. This was not an easily discovered piece of information, since the French don't answer anything on the phone...they may reply to a fax, which in this case they did, with no recourse or solution to the problem. It's like the age of technology has been lost on their organizational system.
Hopefully this can all get done before June 18th since I also need a physical in France before I start working on June 30th. I know this is very common for France and paperwork, but I am an eternal optimist and had such high hopes. le sigh.
Saturday, May 24, 2008
How To: get a nose job
I went to the dentist to get a filling done, figuring that Major Surgery was the next day and I might as well just get everything over with. Well, the dude hit a freaking vessel with his Novocain needle. My face was swollen and black and blue before I even walked into the OR today. It still is. My cheek bruise matches my eyes. Quote my mom, “I can’t believe your cheek. You look really dirty.”
This brings us to today. The doc was going to throw in a nose re-break to reshape everything, but the heavy bleeding made for bad complications during surgery, making that a no go. It’s all just frustrating, this entire problem started because of a ridiculous car accident. The woman who hit me should have her license permanently revoked and thrown into some sort of ring of fire. There’s no excuse for plowing into my car at full speed when I’m stopped behind some other moron who decided to dead stop on the Schuylkill expressway. Having your steering wheel stop your face at a high rate of speed is nightmare inducing... I’m done being bitter now. Once I’m a real life breathing machine, it’ll be worth it. The 5-10% of air making it through my nasal passageways wasn’t cutting it. When the ENT looked in the first time he said “what the hell did you do to this thing?” He sent me right to the plastic surgeon which puts me here today.
Lesson number 2: When an operation is done with a breathing tube you will wake up sobbing. I didn’t even care if my nose was attached; I just wanted something to drink. They had me blindfolded with ice and my nose packed with quite literally a tampon. They should recommend this for torture. Put someone to sleep and wake them back up blindfolded, unable to breath, or talk. I greedily took every ice chip they would give me. Anything with ice is amazing. A few hours after I got home, mom had a bright idea to give me hot water with lemon. Usually this would help a sore throat; however, my throat has never rebelled against me so much in my life. NEVER. Drink. A. HOT BEVERAGE AFTER A BREATHING TUBE.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
1 month countdown
Selling off all my worldly goods to random people on Craigslist is actually quite liberating. I'm bringing my snowboard, my bike, and some clothes with me in June. Everything else is up on the auction block.
Pointless post. Just in dire need of some hardcore barbiturates* for the next 7 days while my life careens towards graduation, hopefully getting my visa in NYC on Monday, moving out of Philly and major subsequent downsizing, taking what is left to France... and towards this stupid surgery. At least I'll have some fun morphine posts to keep me busy when I've exhausted my abc.com options...as well as the stockpile of 5 new books I've collected for my 2 weeks in bed. The Ava Gardner biography is fascinating...tons of dirt on the people responsible for the entertainment industry today. I heart reading. I'll also probably read Julia Childs, My Life in France a few dozen more times. I need her inspiration. I will not be a hopeless cook that only makes fires in the kitchen the rest of my life. I want to make bread and flambes and food that is edible.
If it requires me to stay an extra year in France and continue at culinary school. So be it.
*totally kidding about the drugs. Anyone that knows me knows I'm wayyy high on life as is.
Pointless post. Just in dire need of some hardcore barbiturates* for the next 7 days while my life careens towards graduation, hopefully getting my visa in NYC on Monday, moving out of Philly and major subsequent downsizing, taking what is left to France... and towards this stupid surgery. At least I'll have some fun morphine posts to keep me busy when I've exhausted my abc.com options...as well as the stockpile of 5 new books I've collected for my 2 weeks in bed. The Ava Gardner biography is fascinating...tons of dirt on the people responsible for the entertainment industry today. I heart reading. I'll also probably read Julia Childs, My Life in France a few dozen more times. I need her inspiration. I will not be a hopeless cook that only makes fires in the kitchen the rest of my life. I want to make bread and flambes and food that is edible.
If it requires me to stay an extra year in France and continue at culinary school. So be it.
*totally kidding about the drugs. Anyone that knows me knows I'm wayyy high on life as is.
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